While it’s highly unlikely that either of these two projects will actually come to fruition, it’s worth wondering what Musk’s “historically accurate” Odyssey might look like, whether AI-generated or Gibson-directed. Never mind the fact that a “historically accurate” adaptation of The Odyssey is, in and of itself, a logical fallacy: Homer’s nearly 3,000-year-old epic is populated by mythical Greek gods like Zeus, Poseidon, and Athena, as well as imaginary mythical monsters like Cyclopes, giants, sirens, and a witch who can turn men into pigs. The opening chyron of Nolan’s film acknowledges this: His story takes place “in a time of apparent magic.” But if you were to take Musk and his cronies at face value, you’d have to believe not only that all of these magical, mythical beings could be found in documented history, but also that Nolan did a piss-poor job of rendering them onscreen. Apologies to Bill Irwin’s towering and vulnerable performance as the one-eyed Polyphemus. (Yes, that was Bill Irwin!)
If Musk really wanted to make a historically accurate version of The Odyssey, he’d film a guy named Homer wearing a robe and reciting a poem around a fire for hours upon hours. But even that version might not cut the mustard when it comes to “historical accuracy.” There’s a vibrant scholarly debate as to whether Homer was a single person or many people; it’s called the Homeric question. Thus, Musk’s promise to stay “true to the art of Homer” is not as simple as he or his followers would like to believe.
It’s clear that what bothers Musk and company the most in regard to the “accuracy” of The Odyssey is the diversity of Nolan’s cast. “There were no Black people or trans people in ancient Greek mythology,” they furiously type on their crumb-covered keyboards. (They’re wrong on both counts: In Greek mythology, Aethiopia was a kingdom often associated with sub-Saharan Africa, and Hermaphroditos, the offspring of Hermes and Aphrodite, quite famously had both male and female characteristics after fusing with the water nymph Salmacis. But I digress.) Nevertheless, it seems that, in either movie, Musk would be looking for not only a white, cisgender cast, but also a Greek cast at that. (For what it’s worth, some Greek people are actually mad about the Greek-actor erasure in Nolan’s version.) Thankfully, he’s got a bevy of Greek stars available to replace A-listers like Anne Hathaway, Tom Holland, and Zendaya.
There’s Nia Vardalos, writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding; given that she’s the reigning queen of Greek-themed cinema, it only makes sense that she’d slot in for Hathaway’s Queen Penelope. Her king and long-lost husband, Odysseus, could be played by none other than Uncle Jesse: John Stamos. America’s sweetheart Jennifer Aniston has Greek origins: Her dad, John Aniston, née Yannis Anastassakis, was born on the island of Crete. All that time spent shilling Smartwater would make her a shoo-in for Calypso. Tina Fey, whose mother was born in Piraeus, would make an incredible Circe—turning men into pigs sounds like something straight out of the Liz Lemon playbook.
