The BOLD PREDICTIONS post is one of my favorite posts of the year. It’s so freeing to unleash the inner lovechild of Gary Neville and Stephen A. Smith to go absolutely nuts with the most out-of-pocket predictions. Okay, so maybe not that crazy. But being able to spew vaguely-supported hot takes is fun. Here’s what we came up with before last season.
I predicted that Spurs would finish outside the European places, although I admitted that might not be all that bold of a take. The conventional wisdom was that they’d bounce back. I did not think they would. I was very right. I correctly called that the Gunners would concede fewer than 30 goals in the league. I had Nottingham Forest in the bottom third after finishing 7th in ‘24-’25. And I hammered the Mo Salah regression. I’d have been red hot if Everton hadn’t bottled the stretch. I picked them to sneak into a European place but they failed to win in their last seven. Shout out to that Manchester City draw, though!
I also predicted that Arsenal would be a free-scoring side that banged home the goals. Took a big L on that one.
Tony nailed Newcastle’s fall from grace. He also called Manchester United’s bounceback, although he based it on a better showing from Rubin Amorim, and uh, that was not why United finished 3rd. Aidan correctly called Myles Lewis-Skelly’s slump to start the season as well as Amorim’s sacking, even if the Portuguese manager made it to January, not the October Aidan predicted.
Enzo Maresca won’t last the season. I’m all out on Manchester City this season and I’m really not a fan of Temu Pep. He got Leicester City promoted to the Premier League and he won the FIFA Club World Cup That Nobody Really Cared About with Chelsea. Big whoop. The underlying numbers for his Chelsea sides in the Premier League were not great and have been better (to much better) under other managers. Despite the fawning reports in the media about how he’s brought a more relaxed atmosphere to City, he’s always come across as more than a bit of a jerk. We’ll only see more of that as the pressure to produce mounts.
Erling Haaland won’t lead the Premier League in goals. Again, I’m fading Manchester City. This one seems like a particularly BOLD prediction because if Erling Haaland doesn’t lead the Premier League in scoring, City will have probably finished outside a Champions League place, and I don’t think that’s going to happen. If you want a reason why it may happen, Manchester City don’t really have a midfield to connect the play and get the ball to Cherki, the wingers, and ultimately to Haaland.
Aston Villa finish in the bottom half of the table. They’ve lost a lot from last year’s squad — Morgan Rogers, Youri Tielemans, Ezri Konsa, Donyell Malen, and Lucas Digne. That’s a whopping 13K Premier League minutes played before you get to Ollie Watkins, who may also be sold and would push the number towards 16K. Adding World Cup darling Johan Manzambi for attacking pop and Joao Gomes to shore up the midfield are good moves, but not enough. They’re in the Champions League with an extremely thin squad. Surely they’ll add more players. At some point the Unai Emery chariot is going to turn back into a pumpkin.
None of the three non-Champions League European sides qualify for Europe again. Bournemouth have, once again, lost key players in the transfer market. Eli Junior Kroupi is starting the season injured. And most importantly, Andoni Iraola is off to Liverpool. Sunderland were pretty poor in the second half of last season, more holding onto the spot their first half earned them than defending a claim to it. Brighton have lost a bunch of starters in the transfer market and have some key injuries to start the season. Also, I really don’t like Fabian Hurzeler’s whiny face. They’ll all be worn out and beaten up by playing the extra matches, too.
Hull City will become the worst team in Premier League history. I’m not sure how bold it is to predict that the worst promoted side in about a decade has a shot at being an all-timer on the wrong end of things, but we’re going for it. The odds are against pretty much any and every team coming up shorter than ‘07-’08 Derby County’s 11 points mark. Like, you basically win more points than that by having a pulse and showing up.
Author’s Note – as I look back on my predictions, I’m not sure any of them are bold enough. I guess the spirit of Skip Bayless didn’t flow through me. That’s probably a good thing. You know what, screw it. FROM THE LOGO!
Arsenal win the Premier League by double-digit points.
Arsenal will win the Champions League. Arteta has grown by leaps and bounds as a manager and has led the side back to an elite level. Since returning to the CL, Arsenal have managed to finish one step higher than the season before. The only logical progression at this point is to win the damn thing. The players also have the confidence that comes with knowing what it takes to be champions after last season’s Premier League title. After falling short in the final against PSG, the Gunners finally cast off their European curse and lift the game’s most coveted prize.
Roberto De Zerbi becomes the first big six manager to get the axe. Spurs have spent with the reckless abandon of a teenager with their first paycheck this summer. The squad overhaul is ambitious on paper, but shaking up a roster the way they have comes with massive question marks and a very real chance that it fails to click. De Zerbi’s notoriously mercurial behavior could see his tenure implode if they cannot find their feet and continue to flounder outside of the top 5.
Manchester City finally are finally handed their punishment for the 115 charges. Maybe this one is better categorized as wishcasting than predicting, because the cynic in me thinks nothing will ever actually come of this. Every season since the charges for City’s rampant breaches of FFP/PSR first came to light, the can has gotten kicked down the road as rumors of an impending judgment continue to get result in a whole lot of nothing. The departure of Pep and several key players don’t necessarily raise alarm bells that the hammer is about to drop, but if there ever was a time for the league to finally make a decision, their transitional season in the post-Pep era would be it.
The PGMOL abandon their new set piece rule by the winter break…but only after Arsenal get punished for it. The only consistent thing about officiating is its baffling inconsistency. Every season, a new tweak comes around with promises of speeding up the rate of play and cutting down on gamesmanship. Last season, the new keeper clock was a total farce. The less we say about the delaying of the restart rule from two seasons ago, the better. The newest rule seems designed with Arsenal in mind following the petulant handwringing by rival fans after the Gunners ramped up their set piece domination. The governing body for officials are patently awful at equitably
Both Sunderland and Newcastle will be in relegation danger. Sunderland massively overperformed their underlying data last season. That is usually followed by a season of regression but they also have the Europa League to contend with and that will tax their squad. As for Newcastle…they’re missing targets, they have lots of first team players to replace no matter what Luke Edwards will tell you and they have a brand new manager installed halfway through pre-season.
Tottenham will finish in a European position. As much as it pains me to say, I think De Zerbi is a good manager and they’ve signed some really good players, upgrading their midfield. The attack is rubbish and that caps where you can land but they should be good for 7th.
Arsenal will score more goals from set pieces. People think Arsenal foul the goalkeeper every time but really they just block the goalkeeper off by creating chaos in the box. If referees are clamping down on grappling in the penalty box that actually will make it easier for Gabriel to come flying in.
