Parents can model healthy habits to help kids thrive

Rebecca Kaplan likes to start her day right, with an invigorating spin on her Peloton.

But, like many parents, the family nurse practitioner inevitably gets interrupted — by her children, 3, 6 and 8.

At first, Kaplan, a family nurse practitioner at Hartford HealthCare, did what she believes most parents do: She hopped off and tended to the children. 

‘I’d be like, ‘Oh, my gosh,’ stop my workout and get very frustrated,” she said. “Then I completely flipped the script.” Instead of short-changing her own workout, she began to incorporate her children in it. She set down a mat, put kids fitness toys out, and had them “work out” alongside her. 

“Let’s face it, we love them but it’s an interruption in that workout,” Kaplan said. “But the main thing is don’t stop completely and give up on your routines because there’s always going to be interruptions in any situation. Make sure you have a safe space set up for them so you can return to your own self-care.”

Parents who want their kids to grow into adults with healthy habits — whether it’s exercising, eating right or learning how to manage stress and establishing a good skin care routine  — will get the best results by modeling behavior, Kaplan said. 

“Modeling of behavior is more important than speaking,” she said. “When kids see healthy behaviors consistently modeled at home, those behaviors are more likely to become normalized and sustained into adulthood.”

A study in the journal Appetite found that actively demonstrating healthy eating, physical activity and screen-time management is one of the most effective ways to shape children’s lifelong habits. It’s never too early to start. Yale Medicine said parents should begin modeling behaviors at birth, although the period for greatest impact of parenting on a child’s development occurs at adolescence, at a median age of 12 years, according to a study in Social Science & Medicine.

Parents can even model skin-care routines for their children, said Dr. Christopher G. Bunick, associate professor of dermatology at Yale School of Medicine. “There are two fundamental things that we all must do over our lifetimes —moisturize and sun protection,” Bunick said. “Children will learn and model the skin care routines of their parents, and one of the best ways to protect the skin from eczema, itch, dryness and infection is by keeping the skin barrier well-moisturize,” he said.

Dr. Jamie Christine Shawver, of Trinity Health of New England, agreed. “From birth we should be bathing daily to every other day, using gentle cleansers followed by a moisturizer,” she said via email. She added that avoiding fragrances can help with sensitive skin, and that “children and teens should avoid retinol, chemical exfoliants and anti-aging ingredients, which can be harmful to the skin.”

Still with parents often stressed out and pressed for time, modeling healthy habits can be a challenge, said Dr. Christa Miliaresis, a pediatric cardiologist at Connecticut Children’s. “People sometimes get overwhelmed because they think, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing; I’m not perfect,’ and one of my favorite things to say is ‘little changes make huge differences,'” she said. Even a 10-minute daily walk with a child can improve one’s Vo2Max, or how much oxygen you can absorb and use to power your body during a workout, she said. 

As the parent of three children, Miliaresis said she’s stunned to see parents watching their athlete children while they consume a take-out meal from Wendy’s. But she acknowledged, “It’s tough to sit down and have a meal as family, which is ideal.” She relies on advance planning. She spends a couple of hours on Sunday chopping up vegetables, grilled chicken, carrots and making hummus to have available for dinners and snacks.

Modeling behavior often means surrendering certain priorities, like tidiness, Kaplan acknowledges. “I get (the children) on the counter. They make a giant mess,” she said. “My daughter will stir things for me. We pour things in together. Having them be a part of it, they are more likely to eat the meal. You have to let go of cleanliness and let them be a part of what you’re doing.”

 Dana A. White, clinical professor of health and exercise science at Quinnipiac University, agreed. “I try not to lecture my children about food but try to execute it through exposing them to a variety of foods that taste great, as opposed to being like, ‘This is good for you, that’s why you should eat it.'”

For Christopher J. Barrett, a register nutritionist and dietitian at Hartford Health Care, that means enlisting his toddler in meal preparation. “His chore for dinner time is he brings the spoons and the forks to the table,” Barrett said. 

After the meal, Barrett makes a point of going outside with his son for unstructured play, an activity he says is undernourished in today’s society. “We play for at least an hour,” he said, “Whatever he wants to do, we’re outside just moving.” 

Kaplan agreed. “We don’t need to reinvent the wheel for young kids. It’s just moving; it’s play-based,” she said. “They’re running, they’re climbing, they’re dancing, they’re getting outside. Children strength train through natural body movement. They’re doing the monkey bars. That’s by definition strength training. We don’t have to overcomplicate it.”

She believes random play is critical. “Who cares if there’s a little bit of mud and who cares it’s a little messy? They need to be outdoors, to move, to play. It’s not about perfection. It’s about flexibility.”

As children observe their parents’ behavior, they are also picking up on their parents’ stress, said Miliaresis. She said she tries to notice and adapt. “Even if one person takes a pause and then introduces something to laugh about, or a moment to just take a breath or have a five-second dance party, or walk outside for a minute, everybody’s mood and mental health can change for the better.”