It’s exhausting being a woman in today’s world, despite the year being 2025. The pressure to look and behave in a certain way, unfortunately, still exists. I mean, isn’t this the future? How has it almost gotten worse?
It made me wonder about the most frustrating parts of today’s beauty standards. I asked the BuzzFeed Community, who came through, sharing their takes. From feeling the pressures of getting older to shelling out loads of money for beauty products and skincare, their responses were vulnerable and eye-opening. Here’s what they had to say:
1.“Makeup as a standard and not an option. I don’t bother with it because it bothers my skin, but it irritates me so much that so many women feel pressured to constantly be picture perfect, and they don’t feel okay embracing their natural beauty. Wearing makeup for yourself is great, and if you love it, you do you. But not wearing it shouldn’t make people judge you for embracing and loving what’s already there.”
James Devaney / Getty Images
2.“There’s the fact that there are double standards to beauty standards in the first place. If a man is going gray and getting wrinkles, he’s a George Clooney-esque silver fox. Meanwhile, if a woman is going gray and wrinkled, she gets criticized for it.”
3.“Two words: body hair. It’s VERY stigmatized.”
4.“Shaving your legs is dumb, and you cannot convince me otherwise. I don’t have time. Fuzzy legs for the win.”
Nestea06 / Getty Images
—Anonymous
5.“Modern swimsuits require women not to have a vagina or a butthole. What is 0.5 inches of fabric going to cover???”
—Anonymous
6.“We’re expected to have tiny waists and a flat stomach but big hips and asses, large tits that never sag, thick thighs, and all this while not being afraid to eat. My guys, this isn’t Build-A-Bitch. This aesthetic is basically unattainable.”
7.“The way everyone seems to be a makeup artist these days. I learned how to do makeup in the ‘90s, and my technique hasn’t changed much since then! It was fine when everyone else had the same level of skill as me, but now it seems like everyone has been to some secret beauty college I don’t know about! My natural face and normal eyebrows can’t compete with all the contoured people I see all over social media.”
—Anonymous
8.“My students constantly want to know why I don’t dye my gray hairs or wear makeup. A few have commented that ‘I’d be so much prettier if…’ I LOVE my gray hair. I love my crow’s feet. I hate that makeup makes me look like someone else. It bothers me that preteens are so concerned about appearances, and I hope I can be a bit of an example of someone who is happy and fulfilled exactly as I am.”
—Anonymous
9.“The standard of looking ‘perfect’ is unhinged. Young women in their early 20s are getting Botox and fillers. It’s sad that celebrities show off this lifestyle on social media as if it’s a simple trip to the store or a necessary part of their life, which warps young people’s minds into believing that this is the only way to be beautiful. Beauty comes in all forms.”
—Anonymous
10.“The biggest issue I have is with everyone having to pretend it’s all natural and lying out of their asses about treatments/exercising, etc. I find that even more toxic than the actual procedures. Kindly fuck off with that nonsense. It’s anything and everything from Botox to fillers and facelifts.”
Rabizo / Getty Images
“And before people go: ‘But it’s so obvious when people have work done.’ No, it’s not, you only notice the cases where it’s been done badly and not the thousands that didn’t go overboard.”
11.“For context: I’m a Black woman, and I’m sick of the Eurocentric hair standards being seen as the gold standard that everyone must adhere to. The idea that hair must be long and straight to be considered beautiful and good is harmful. I was bullied growing up for having naturally short hair. It took me until my 20s to finally be okay with my texture and length. And even now, a common go-to insult is to call someone (especially a woman) bald if they have short hair, as if having naturally chin-length hair is a terrible thing.”
“I didn’t have a problem with my hair until other people turned my hair into a problem. People just can’t accept that hair length is largely determined by genetics and will tell you that you just need to buy XYZ product and do this ABC technique, and then you’ll have hair down to your butt. But then it doesn’t work because that’s just not how it is, and then they’ll tell you to buy another product. All it does is breed insecurity and self-hatred about something we have little control over, and creates an unrealistic standard.”
12.“I’m a straight woman (39 years old), but I have a short spiky haircut and love to wear jeans, T-shirts, and sneakers. I grew up a tomboy and have always kind of kept the same vibes as I’ve grown. I definitely can look at a woman and consider her attractive, but I’m just not sexually attracted to women. The dumbest shit, though, is when men tell me I should wear dresses, more makeup, and jewelry, and grow my hair out because ‘people will think you’re a lesbian!’ I just laugh and say I’m not cool or stylish enough to be a lesbian. And I’m serious!! The coolest and most stylish people I know are queer, and I would love it if someone thought that about me! Anyway, WTF?? People suck sometimes.”
13.“Body positivity being a short-lived fad. It felt like for about three weeks, we were all on board with all bodies being beautiful. Then the weight loss shots came out. Before, I was fat because I was too lazy to go to the gym. Now, I’m fat because I’m too poor to pay for shots. But for a very brief time, I was blissfully existing in a delightfully round body that did everything it needed to do regardless of my weight.”
Cultura Creative / Getty Images
—Anonymous
14.“All the Serena Williams discourse feels like the perfect example of how everyone seems to feel so comfortable criticizing women for everything. For so long in her career, she faced criticism for her body, and now that her body is a little different. And other women are saying what a shame it is for her to lose weight. A girl just can’t win.”
—Anonymous
15.“Society says I’m supposed to have a completely flat belly and a tiny waist after having three children and going through menopause. No wrinkles, no sagging anything, anywhere — ever! A toned, tight body, perky tits, thick hair without grays, perfect skin, a libido that’s always high, etc. The list is endless, and I’m exhausted. I can’t keep up with all of the bullshit expectations society places on women of all ages, and I’m done! I don’t buy into this crap anymore. I’m just a real person who is aging and hopefully continues to age into the kickass old lady I’m destined to be.”
—Anonymous
16.“The cost! Like, who has thousands of dollars to clear up a few zits?”
Azmanl / Getty Images, Narith_2527 / Getty Images
—Anonymous
17.“I’m sad to see my young grandkids worry so much about their looks. The cost of cosmetics is astronomical. How did we get here? More emphasis should be placed on being a good friend and being a good person, and being a productive member of society.”
—Anonymous
18.“Photoshop and filters creating unrealistic and unobtainable beauty standards.”
—Anonymous
19.“The perfect skin. So many filters and makeup make it look like everyone’s skin is flawless. If you don’t have acne, you probably have dark spots or wrinkles, or some sort of discoloration. Yet, we’re expected to somehow have flawless skin.”
—Anonymous
20.“That we, as women, still feel the need to participate in beauty standards.”
—Anonymous
21.And finally, “The constant revolving trends and visual pressure (AI-edited or not) on social media foster anxiety to look a certain way. Athletic in a specific way — not too skinny, nor muscular, ‘clean girl’ but not boring, also not too clean because that veers into ‘tradwife,’ tomato-butter-yellow-BRAT baddie — it all revolves around a capitalistic agenda to keep buying to reach some sort of ideal. It’s exhausting. And for what? A photo that looks like everyone else?”
Darya Komarova / Getty Images
—Anonymous
What do you think about today’s beauty standards? Let us know in the comments! Or, if you’d prefer to remain anonymous, fill out the form below:
Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
