As I write this, the Globe is about to host our second-annual Working Mothers Summit, with a sold-out crowd at the Omni Boston Hotel. Our panels will explore everything from maternal mental health to kids and tech to proper workplace support for parents. The breadth and scope is vast, and it underscores the gravity of modern family life.
In plotting one of my sessions, I began to think about the apps we could really use as parents — a tongue-in-cheek (but maybe not?) wish list to smooth out our daily annoyances, too. How much easier would life be with these seven hacks? Maybe we can’t solve maternity leave in an afternoon, but: A good night’s sleep sure would be nice. What are yours?
- A stair butler. You know the library books, untied cleats, and laundry you neatly stack on the staircase, only for your child to stumble over 17 times in a row before you scream? This fearless clutter fairy would simply whisk the offending belongings up to your child’s room before you break your ankle while rushing to work. As an added bonus, it would unearth 10 missing forks from your teenager’s room and pop them in the dishwasher.
- A sidelines doppelganger. No more three-hour T-ball games or painful small talk on the sidelines at soccer. This duplicative device would stand in for you: cheer like you, chat like you, bring a bottomless bag of snacks like you, and even drive across town for you while you relax at home in front of “The Pitt.”
- A friendship scheduler. Is your next dinner with friends planned for 2027 because everyone is contending with far-flung tournaments, in-law visits, sick parents, work commitments, or unreliable child care? Do your text threads require the logistics of a sting operation? This app will pinpoint the elusive two-hour window in which each of you is free, make a dinner reservation, and even provide complimentary hydration reminders so nobody wakes up with a midweek headache after two (and a half) margaritas.
- A sleep-induction elixir. Do you awaken at 3 a.m. for no apparent reason? Do you then scroll Instagram stories from people you haven’t seen since 2009 in between scanning terrifying headlines that make you sweat through your weighted blanket? This soothing beverage will lull you into the best sleep you’ve had since your last colonoscopy, rendering you refreshed and eager to take on the day — and it won’t even make you get up to pee.
- An escape concierge. Sometimes, a good night’s sleep isn’t enough. Sometimes, you need a stay in a capacious hotel suite with 1,000-thread-count sheets, frosty air-conditioning, and carb-laden room service. This trusty concierge will secure and pay for this oasis, while also priming your parenting partner, if applicable, for automatic takeover whilst you’re unavailable. No need to text reminders about PowerSchool passwords, birthday party logistics, or waiver forms to Jumps ’n Germs R Us. Simply delegate and detach. Your only concern should be whether to binge “Heated Rivalry” or a “Real Housewives” franchise.
- A dinner doctor. This meal-planning maven will spare you the painful daily conversational spiral: “What do you want for dinner?” “I don’t know, what do you want?,” which ends when everyone gives up and reheats Trader Joe’s margherita pizza. This dining detective will synthesize your children’s culinary preferences coupled with your nutritional needs and moods, and then prepare a scrumptiously aspirational feast designed for easy dining at 5 p.m. (before practice) or 9 p.m. (after practice). Absolutely no repeats, odd textures, or preservatives. It will also load the dishwasher for you.
- A second brain. This convenient secondary organ will mastermind camp signups, immunization paperwork, doctor’s appointments, shared Google calendars, running grocery lists, food preferences, dress-up days, spirit days, bring-your-favorite-iguana-to-school days, extracurricular deadlines, teachers’ names, homework help, acquaintance-face recall, and shoe sizes, so you can focus on more important things: your career, your health, your relationships, your protein intake, and your sanity.
Wish me luck at the Summit. And if there’s someone somewhere in Kendall Square who might want to create an app for any of the above, you know where to find me.
Kara Baskin can be reached at kara.baskin@globe.com. Follow her @kcbaskin.
