Nila Ahmad, USA
I have a love/hate relationship with the phone. Perhaps a hate/hate one when it comes to raising children in a time where smartphones are the norm. Everything you hear is true: the children’s desire for phones, the addictive nature of the devices, the insidious creeping content, the changing dynamic of families. And although there is a rising awareness, families still appear to be caught in the tumult of what’s right, what’s wrong, and where do we draw the line? I don’t presume to have any answers, so as with everything else, I look to Islam. What is the guidance contained therein which will give me agency as a parent to guide my children?
In 2008, Apple launched the first iPhone, a pocket-sized device which allowed us to take pictures without lugging a separate camera, connect to the internet, and navigate to places without printing pages and pages of directions. Soon enough, we had games to pass the time away and social media to connect us to a great, big world. At the beginning, smartphones were a luxury for adults, just like credit cards. But over the last 15 years, this has changed. Now, an average of 95% of teens (13-17) have access to smartphones, according to Pew Research. [1] Children walk around with the phone propped casually in their hands, slipped into their back pockets, or sticking out of their bags.
The smartphone offers immense benefits. Social media has given a platform for communities to organise around social justice issues, thousands of videos on YouTube which can teach any number of new skills, hundreds of apps to streamline life and strengthen one’s spiritual side, and a plethora of podcasts to learn from, whether it’s economics or history. In fact, this is the main attraction for many children: ‘More teens believe smartphones make it easier, rather than harder, to be creative, pursue hobbies and do well in school. Majorities of teens say smartphones make it a little or a lot easier for people their age to pursue hobbies and interests (69%) and be creative (65%). Close to half (45%) say these devices have made it easier for youth to do well in school.’ [2] Thus, the smartphone unlocks the door to a wealth of opportunities for community, knowledge, and growth.
Unfortunately, this technology comes with its own set of risks as well. The use of devices has been studied, dissected and disseminated far and wide. Parents are inundated with advice from experts, therapists and parent coaches. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, studied teens from 2010 on, and he concluded that children growing up with smartphones and social media faced a greater propensity to depression, suicidal ideation, and anxiety. A double-digit increase in the percentage of undergraduates who experienced depression and anxiety from 2010 onwards [3]. He writes that children have moved away from a play-based childhood towards a phone-based childhood. In essence, Haidt states, ‘Another way to say this, and this is more for the parents in the room, is that we have overprotected our children in the real world, and we have underprotected them online.’ [4]
As much as we don’t like to admit it, the digital world is neither built to safeguard our children nor are companies interested in doing so. The lawsuits against Roblox and OpenAI show that parental controls can easily be subverted, and bad actors can and will attempt to target children. In addition, the goal of most social media platforms is to hold onto as much of users’ attention as they can, because that leads to money in the bank. In leaked documents, Facebook developers had clear instructions, ‘Keep her “engaged” for longer with rewards, novelty, and emotions.’ [5] Developers used a hook and trigger model to practically ensure children and adults alike remained on their platforms for hours on end.
It’s unsettling to feel manipulated in this way, or that despite one’s best efforts at implementing safeguards, the barrier to entry for inappropriate content has all but diminished, making parental supervision all the more difficult. Parents can set as many digital controls as they wish, but there’s no telling when their children will come across a Thomas the Train cartoon dubbed with inappropriate language, see a porn site pop-up in the middle of a downloaded game, or encounter an AI chatbot pretending to be human. The digital space is like Hydra – as soon as you sever one head, two more grow in its place.
When I speak to fellow parents, I am struck with the extent to which they feel helpless. They are frustrated with inappropriate content being pushed through despite their best efforts, the unrelenting demand for more screen time, and the guilt they feel at not giving their children what their peers seemingly have. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
Jean Twenge, a psychologist and author of iGen, writes, ‘It often feels like the whole world is conspiring to keep our kids tethered to tech. And that’s because it is.’ [6] Thus, parents are doing their best to control it, but it is not easy. Four out of ten parents and teens both say they regularly argue with each other about phone usage. [7] It’s not pleasant for parents and children alike to feel as if they sit at opposite ends in a constant struggle for understanding
So, what to do?
It seems to me that the Islamic school of thought offers various perspectives through which to approach the matter of smartphones in the hands of our children. Islam strongly encourages personal agency in both young and old. This individual agency is based upon one’s moral and spiritual values, not upon societal values. When the Holy Prophet Muhammad [sa] conveyed the religious teachings of Islam to his people, the societal values at that time were in direct contrast to his message. They offered him wealth and status if he would stop preaching. His reply was, “Even if they were to place the sun on my right and the moon on my left, I would not desist from preaching the truth of the One God.” [8] This example of personal agency was based upon a spiritual conviction.
The reality is that the pendulum of societal values can swing one way to the next within a span of decades, leaving the ground shaky for parents if they are trying to make decisions for the future of their children. Thus, Islam encourages agency based on one’s moral and spiritual values, which are grounded and rooted, giving the parents a firm foundation upon which to implement guidelines and safeguards for their children. They need not waver if society says one thing one day and another thing the next. As Haidt says, ‘We are not helpless, although it often feels that way because smartphones, social media, market forces, and social influence continue to pull us into a trap.’ [9]
Secondly, we can approach this dilemma by applying the Islamic principle of weighing the benefits against the disadvantages. If the harm outweighs the benefits of something, then it is better to eschew that thing. It is a formula for discerning which things we wish to adopt into our lives and which we should be more cautious of. The same principle is worth considering when trying to navigate children’s phone usage. For perspective, the Fifth Caliph and Worldwide Head of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, His Holiness, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba), cautioned against children using smartphones in 2011, almost 13 years before The Anxious Generation was published.
His Holiness (aba) addressed children in Germany and said, ‘There is a widespread problem here of children demanding from their parents to buy them mobile phones. Some are just 10 years of age and say that they should have a mobile phone. Are you doing some sort of business? Or are you doing some kind of work in which information is required to be accessed every minute? When asked, they reply, “We need to call our parents.” If your parents are not worried, there is also no need for you to worry, because phones can lead to bad habits. Hence, the phone is also a very harmful thing due to which children lose all good sense and get involved in wrongdoings, so avoid this.’ [10] Thus, each parent and child should make the decision as to whether the phone offers more advantages than disadvantages.
The third lens through which parents can approach the phone in their children’s hands is to recognise their children’s greater purpose and goals. As parents, we ultimately want the best for our children, as do the children for themselves. If the phone begins to be an obstacle to that goal, then it is our job to teach and guide our children that perhaps the phone is not in their best interests or to use it with restraint. Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) states, ‘It is the duty of the parents as well that they should watch that their children are not spending too much time on mobile phones and make them realise, with love and kindness, that they have a purpose and they should try to achieve that purpose instead of wasting their time on online games.’ [11]
Islam recognises the autonomy of older teens and young adults and their ability to make decisions which alter their future. While warning parents to supervise their children’s screen usage, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) also warned young children and teens directly of the dangers by stating, ‘Idly watching TV, or scrolling endlessly on electronic devices can damage your physical and mental health. Moreover, the internet is replete with dangerous and immoral content, freely available, that serves to erode moral values and fuel hate. Now A.I. is adding a new dimension. This is something I have warned about for many years, and now, we are seeing the horrifying results on a near-daily basis. In recent times, there have been horrific reports of teenagers committing suicide due to cyberbullying or consuming appalling online content that causes serious mental harm. For example, recently, it was reported in the media that a teenager in the United States committed suicide with the help and encouragement of ChatGPT.’ [12]
Lastly, Islam encourages moderation in all things. Whether it be food or drink or consuming content on our phones, the Islamic philosophy supports a middle path. As the Holy Prophet Muhammad [sa] stated, “In every matter, moderation is best.” If parents decide a phone is necessary, it is reasonable to encourage a moderate approach to using the phone. Just as one would use restraint when consuming food, one should approach the phone in a similar manner. Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) most recently advised, “If they do want to watch something on the TV or on the iPad, then their screen time should be no more than an hour per day.” [13]
In the end, the phone is here to stay, and it provides innumerable benefits, but it also poses severe risks if left unchecked, especially in the hands of children. We can all benefit from the Islamic viewpoint, which guides us to employ our individual agency based upon moral and spiritual values, look at the benefits versus the disadvantages of that which we bring into our lives and use moderation and restraint so that we do not become distracted from achieving our goals or purpose in life. It is incumbent upon us to be as informed as we can in regard to what occurs in the online world and the threats our children face, and at the same time, remain connected and kind to our children as they wade through this new frontier.
About the Author: Nila Ahmad is the Editor of the Women’s Section of The Review of Religions. She lives in the southern United States with her family. Having graduated with an art degree, she has participated in the illustration of children’s books, as well as serving on the team for US magazine Al-Hilal. Her particular interest is in dispelling misconceptions around women’s status in Islam.
ENDNOTES
[1] Sidoti, Olivia. “Teens and Internet, Device Access Fact Sheet.” Pew Research Center. Eugenie Park, Michelle Faverio.July 10, 2025. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/teens-and-internet-device-access-fact-sheet/
[2] Anderson, Monica. “How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time.” Pew Research Center. Michelle Faverio, Eugenie Park. March 11, 2024. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/
[3] Haidt, Jonathan, and Sean Pratt. The Anxious Generation. Penguin Random House. 2024.
[4] Hollander, Jason. ‘The Great Rewiring of Childhood’. NYU. June 28, 2024. https://www.nyu.edu/about/news-publications/news/2024/june/-the-great-rewiring-of-childhood-.html
[5] Haidt, Jonathan, and Sean Pratt. The Anxious Generation. Penguin Random House. 2024.
[6] Pearson, Catherine. “She Started the Debate About Kids and Phones. Now She Wants to End It.” The New York Times. September 6, 2025. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/09/06/well/family/jean-twenge-social-media-screens-teens.html
[7] Anderson, Monica. “How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time.” Pew Research Center. Michelle Faverio, Eugenie Park. March 11, 2024. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/
[8] Ahmad, Hazrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmud. Life of Muhammad. Islamabad, Islam International Publications, Ltd., 2012.
[9] Haidt, Jonathan, and Sean Pratt. The Anxious Generation. Penguin Random House. 2024.
[10] Ahmad, Hazrat Mirza Masroor. “Unnecessary Use of Smartphones by Young Children.” September 16, 2011. https://www.alislam.org/book/social-media/role-of-parents-in-training-of-children/
[11] “Members of Waqfe Nau from Mauritius have Honour of a Virtual Meeting with the Head of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community”. Ahmadiyya UK. December 15, 2020. https://ahmadiyyauk.org/members-of-waqfe-nau-from-mauritius-have-honour-of-a-virtual-meeting-with-the-head-of-the-ahmadiyya-muslim-community/
[12] Ahmad, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad. “Head Of The Ahmadiyya Muslim Community Addresses The Concluding Session Of The National Ijtema Of Majlis Khuddam-Ul-Ahmadiyya UK”. September 23, 2025. https://www.pressahmadiyya.com/press-releases/2025/09/head-of-the-ahmadiyya-muslim-community-addresses-the-concluding-session-of-the-national-ijtema-of-majlis-khuddam-ul-ahmadiyya-uk/
[13] Ahmad, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad. “This Week with Huzoor.” MTA News. December 12, 2025. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wY5gqX45Pw&list=PLskzM_vEFYiv0sA4vQmFzvo-0ZFls6m-R&index=1
