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I’ve deleted the dating apps – now, I’m looking for love on LinkedIn

It was during a rather painful week of work experience when my eye settled on an employee who I thought I should ask out for a drink. But how?

As an intern, I had barely a toe, let alone a foot, on the corporate ladder. And, obviously, I didn’t want to make a move in front of my supervisor. I had no idea what his socials were – or even his surname. All I knew was his first name.

But this is where LinkedIn comes into its own – and, as I’ve discovered, it is really the only platform you need to get a date.

I found his profile, messaged him asking for career advice, we went for a coffee, sparks flew – and it wasn’t long before we had a real date in the diary.

If it sounds cringeworthy to use a professional networking platform to ask someone out, that’s because it is – but have you been on the actual dating apps lately? They’re a binfire of no-hopers and try-hards. At least LinkedIn has all the necessary information to see if someone might be a viable playmate.

You can see someone’s career, education, interests and hobbies, even if they volunteer with a charity. You get the full picture, which guards against being catfished. You are also guaranteed that they will look better in person than their ultra-corporate profile pic.

A big ick for me is over-the-top bragging, and LinkedIn profiles show at a glance if someone is prone to long boasts or a less desirable personality type.

Esme Gordon Craig: ‘I found his profile, messaged him asking for career advice , we went for a coffee – and sparks flew...’

Esme Gordon Craig: ‘I found his profile, messaged him asking for career advice , we went for a coffee – and sparks flew…’ (Esme Gordon Craig)

Which is why I’ve come off the dating apps to look for love on LinkedIn instead.

Here’s what I’ve learnt so far. Meeting people is easy on the app if you settle on a career type – corporate or creative? – then invite someone to connect, and then ask them for career advice over a cup of coffee.

At the meet, there’s none of the loaded pressures that come with an actual date – and, even if there’s no chemistry, you still make a new business contact or get some potentially useful career guidance. Maybe you’ll meet the love of your life, provided that you aren’t creepy about it.

Not everyone will respond or accept your invitation to connect. But are the odds of finding a partner through dating apps really any better? From experience, I’d say no.

Of course, there’s a question about whether it is even ethical to use a professional networking app to look for a partner. A decade ago, a major row blew up when 27-year-old barrister Charlotte Proudman went networking online and invited a senior male lawyer to connect on LinkedIn. In his reply, he commented on Ms Proudman’s “stunning” profile picture, describing it as “the best I’ve ever seen”. She protested in the loudest possible terms, and it became a viral cause-celebre.

As the male lawyer was 30 years her senior, the power imbalance deemed this a deeply inappropriate reply. Proudman – who later wrote about the incident, and similar messages, in The Independent – said the message amounted to “using LinkedIn essentially as Tinder” and called for an apology.

But, a decade on, where’s the harm in that?

I see her logic. Work should be free from objectification, a place where professionalism should reign. And yet, I believe LinkedIn has become a more useful, informative equivalent to Hinge.

To Gen Z, LinkedIn has become a more informative equivalent to Hinge

To Gen Z, LinkedIn has become a more informative equivalent to Hinge (Getty)

The last decade has seen a new mentality for us digital-native Gen-Zers. We’re more prepared to merge the online realms, to blur the lines between business and pleasure. We see the opportunity for apps such as LinkedIn to overlap with sites of romance, just as Instagram and Hinge become places where business opportunities and professional networks can be created.

Or maybe it’s simply desperation mixing with opportunism. Dating apps have triggered romantic burnout, leaving many of my cohort announcing they’re having a break from hooking up with anyone altogether.

I still have hope for my romantic future – and since we’ve all been failed by dating apps, I’m making it my business to give LinkedIn a go instead.

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