The wide world of imbibing is abundant with legacy liquor brands with long, rich histories and generations of devotees. It’s also speckled with spirits like Cabo Wabo. The boozy brainchild of one Samuel “Sammy” Hagar (of the Van Halen Hagars) is generally accepted to be a solidly mediocre tequila choice (so not the worst!) for your margarita. It’s also been around long enough (since 1990) to have earned a kind of tolerated spot at beachside bars, at least. Plus, many newly minted drinkers don’t even know who Hagar is, much less have enough of a liking for the guitarist to let it influence their drink call. So, Cabo Wabo certainly isn’t the most egregious bit of celebrity booze branding, but there are plenty of others that aren’t worth your cocktail dollars.
Unless they happen to be culinary celebrities with a focus on alcohol specifically, there is a near-zero chance that said stars have nothing exceptional to add to the infinite volumes of tequila, vodka, gin, rum, whiskey, and bourbon already in existence. Your sips may vary, but some supposedly niche brands are also churned out by industrial distilleries that slap labels on all kinds of bottles. That supposedly A-list hooch with the sexy marketing might be the same swill as something absent an alphabetical honorific. Ergo, unless your life’s true joy is further enriching millionaires, there are better ways to choose your booze.
Exceptions to the rule (and better ways to find new favorite spirits)
Listen, if you really love some iconic character from the most recent golden age of television, go ahead and order the actor-behind-the-magic’s cachaça, or whatever. The same obviously goes if you actually happen to like some cash-grabbing public figure’s liquid cash grab. We’re among the chorus of folks with a fondness for Heaven’s Door whiskey, for example, which was “co-created” with Bob Dylan (who, in the strangest crossover we’ve ever seen, is pictured on the company’s website welding the iron gates he makes).
Outside of those circumstances, the best way to find out what you’re truly going to love is through experience. Go ahead and take a chance on that label you’ve never tasted the next time you’re ordering a martini. You can also, of course, ask your bartender for recommendations (they typically have a good grasp of what they’re pouring). But your first line of defense against inferior alcohol is education; once you know the rules for buying bourbon, the best way to drink gin for the full flavor experience, and you’ve learned a thing or two about tequila’s tasting notes, you’ll never go thirsty again.
