Even though we’ve lately had a surfeit of voting results and dissections thereof, here come some more. In last week’s Attention-Whore Index competition, top honors went to the incoming First Felon, Donald Trump (44.3 percent). Two increasingly bizarre objects of Trump’s bromantic affections were next, Elon Musk (17.1 percent) and Tucker Carlson (14 percent). It’s worth noting that one of Trump’s ex-bromancees placed fourth (Rudy Giuliani, 11.4 percent). And a shout-out to the late Henry Kissinger—fifth (6.3 percent), not a bad finish from the grave, or rather from the monument, as his will made perfectly clear he deserved. Plenty of post-election showboating to get to, but first this:
“Welcome to the Golden Age of America.”
—Stephen Miller, the anti-immigrant white nationalist just appointed Donald Trump’s deputy chief of staff for policy
