Today I am calling on President Joe Biden to do the right thing for America and formally cancel this year’s Thanksgiving.
In the wake of the presidential election, the last thing any of us need to be doing is walking into potentially volatile mixed-ideology settings that often feature alcohol, long-standing feelings of familial resentment and easily thrown pies.
Maybe we can try it again next year, but this year, for the good of everyone, let’s all just stay home with our immediate family and friends and see if we can go a day without getting apoplectically angry.
You’d think your MAGA relatives would be happy. They’re not.
Logic would suggest those on the winning side ‒ MAGA fanatics, begrudging Trump supporters and people who didn’t really pay much attention the past decade ‒ would be cheerful as the dickens over President-elect Donald Trump’s victory. That doesn’t seem to be the case, however.
The social media posts I see from them, along with the regular MAGA missives I receive, are just as ornery as ever.
Opinion:I didn’t think Trump would do the unhinged things he said he’d do. What the heck?
It’s almost as if an entire swath of the population has grown addicted to the dopamine rush of anger, to the point they can’t even celebrate the success of the guy who keeps feeding them things to feel angry about.
A real mystery.
And it’s not like liberals are in great moods this Thanksgiving, either
Liberals like me, along with the independents and conservatives who know an impending crisis when they see one, are equally angry. And scared. And frustrated.
I, for one, wish I could lift myself up by the seat of my pants and, as Dr. Seuss wrote, give “a very sad, sad backward glance” then fly away like The Lorax. I tried to warn y’all, and you didn’t listen. So I’m out.
Opinion:Republicans should let Trump use recess appointments. They asked for this.
Alas, Seuss wrote fiction and I’m not flying anywhere, certainly not to a crowded table to gobble turkey alongside people who cast a vote for Trump.
What gets mistaken, I believe, is that what’s at issue here are values, not monetary policy or “big government vs. small government” disagreements.
I’m not interested in breaking bread with people who don’t share my values
If you voted for an adjudicated rapist and convicted felon who wants to round up millions of human beings and put them in detention camps, who thinks transgender people shouldn’t exist, then we don’t have a common ground in which to chitchat over stuffing and pumpkin pie.
My ears are ringing from the loud and righteous calls that people like me need to “better understand Trump voters.” But I can’t shake the fact that no Trump voter has ever been asked to understand me, or tried to for that matter.
Nobody’s telling them to spend time with a family who has a transgender child and understand the damage that comes from ignorant cruelty.
Nobody’s telling them to meet with migrants who’ve fled vicious gang violence and certain death and risked everything to get here.
Nobody’s imploring them to make even the slightest effort to understand why issues like diversity and inclusion are morally right and really matter to people.
That just doesn’t happen. In the nearly decade-long Trump era, it has always been a one-way street.
So if anyone living on that street is coming to Thanksgiving dinner, count me out.
Imagine the disasters that might unfold at Thanksgiving tables this year
Every Thanksgiving dinner table in every home in America is one cocktail or glass of wine away from conservative Cousin Eddy or libertarian Aunt Martha or the fiery liberal niece or nephew home from college bringing up politics. And how do you reckon that’s going to turn out?
“Well, I’m glad Trump won. Now grocery prices will go down!”
“How do you figure that, cousin? You think rounding up immigrants is going to lower the price of milk?”
“We have to keep America safe!”
“CRIME IS DOWN, FOR GOD’S SAKE! MY POLITICAL SCIENCE PROFESSOR SAID … ”
And before you know it the dog is hiding behind the couch, grandma’s crying, there’s an overturned gravy boat and widespread finger-pointing, and one of the candles has tipped over and dumped wax in the damn pecan pie. Cousin Eddy will then storm off to watch Fox News, the college kid will post video of the whole thing on TikTok and everybody will wind up more miserable than they were when the day began.
Please, President Biden. Please cancel this year’s Thanksgiving.
No thanks!
President Biden, if America has any hope of uniting, you need to cancel this Thanksgiving. Call it off. Take the loss. Let us regroup next year and see if we can give it another whirl.
Forced togetherness when we’re this far apart is like smoking a cigarette over a turkey fryer. You might get away with it, but the better bet is it’s not going to end well.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
