For many undergoing in vitro fertilisation (IVF), the journey is emotionally draining, physically demanding and often difficult to discuss with those who haven’t experienced it. This makes supportive communities vital for those navigating the process.
Atomic Kitten star Liz McClarnon knows this all too well. After revealing she’s expecting her first child following a “painful” IVF journey, she highlighted the importance of these networks in helping her through it.
The 44-year-old singer shared her happy news on Instagram on Tuesday, revealing in a short video that she had been staying off of social media throughout her fertility journey as “sometimes it was hard to smile”, before adding: “But after years of sometimes quite painful IVF and quite dark times, I’m pregnant.”
McClarnon wrote in the caption: “I started to record a video of me just telling you, but I got too emotional, so I thought I’d just hide behind this little announcement instead.
“I just can’t believe we’re here. So many have been through exactly what I went through and worse. I want to share what I can and add my voice and ears to those who already help others understand or deal with all that comes with IVF and loss after so much hope.”
The singer acknowledged the importance of the support groups that helped her cope, adding: “I’ve been a part of some beautifully supportive communities. I’m so grateful. I am so grateful!”
How successful is IVF in the UK?
According to the latest data from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, a total of 59,910 patients received IVF in 2022. While IVF success rates in the UK have seen modest improvements, the process remains incredibly challenging for many.
According to a study published in The Lancet in July 2024, the live birth rate per embryo transfer for women around the age of 35 is approximately 30%.
While this is a significant increase from the 6% success rate in patients aged 35-37 reported in 1991, many people still face significant obstacles, including financial strain, emotional distress and the uncertainty of repeated treatments that may not result in pregnancy.
Thankfully, there are places where those going through IVF can receive support.
Support for those going through IVF in the UK
Professional counselling and therapy
Fertility struggles can take a significant toll on your mental health. The emotional ups and downs – whether it’s dealing with uncertainty, grief after loss or stress from repeated cycles – can be overwhelming.
The NHS recommends that anyone undergoing fertility treatment considers talk therapy, which offers a safe and confidential space to explore thoughts and feelings. Most fertility clinics provide counselling as part of your treatment plan, so ask what’s available or find your local NHS Talking Therapies service online. If you would like to speak to the NHS Mental Health Triage Service, you can dial 111 on your phone. It is free and open 24/7.
You can also find qualified therapists through professional directories:
These resources can help you find licensed professionals experienced in reproductive or grief counselling.
In-person and online support groups
Joining an online forum can provide a safe space to share experiences, ask questions and find emotional support. Fertility Network UK, which states that “over 3.5 million people in the UK go through some kind of fertility challenge”, is one of the leading national charities offering emotional and practical support for anyone facing fertility issues. Services include:
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Free helpline and email support
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Online and local support groups
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Webinars and fertility awareness events
For online connection and 24/7 community support, the Fertility Friends Forum is a dedicated space for people dealing with fertility issues, from IVF to donor conception and surrogacy.
Speaking anonymously to Yahoo UK, one woman explains how she and her partner leaned on Fertility Network UK during their IVF journey, saying it helped them “feel less alone”. She also encourages male partners to get involved and show up emotionally.
“During our IVF treatment, we found it valuable to speak with others also going through similar experiences. Online group peer support organised by Fertility Network UK helped us feel less alone and provided an opportunity to ask questions and share our worries. This helped normalise our feelings and created a sense of community through shared experiences,” she shares.
“One observation of the sessions we attended was the notable absence of male partners from heterosexual couples. I’d like to appeal to the men in partnerships going through infertility to support your partner in every way you can. She is going through a barrage of physical and emotional challenges, heightened by a flooding of hormones that can make it feel all the more challenging.”
She explains that infertility often affects both partners, not just the person undergoing treatment, and says joining a peer support group was just as valuable for her husband as it was for her. She adds: “It helped him learn that we weren’t alone in what we were thinking and that just because we didn’t know anyone else personally who had, or was currently, going through IVF it didn’t mean that we were totally alone in our experience.
“It shocked me to find that support for infertility in the UK is so limited. The Women’s Health Strategy is a great step forward in recognising the specific health needs of women but support for those experiencing the challenges of fertility treatment is not prioritised enough.”
Another woman told Yahoo UK how vital an online support group became when she was going through IVF.
“Joining an online community where women shared their experiences with assisted conception and the many issues they went through (and tips!) was a literal life saver. I spent a lot of time in my own head, overthinking my behaviour, what more I could do or how a doctors’ dismissiveness sometimes didn’t make sense to me,” she says.
“Their words and experiences made me feel less alone in crucial moments. And they also made me feel like I wasn’t alone or a failure, because the fact that there were dozens of other people telling me they were struggling through the same process made me feel supported and not invisible. These women were strangers online but really felt like a life line for many months and evenings.”
Financial and legal advice
IVF can be expensive, especially for those who don’t qualify for NHS-funded treatment or opt to go privately. If you’re ineligible for NHS support, you can still access care through one of the many licensed private fertility clinics across the UK. However, costs and eligibility criteria can vary significantly from clinic to clinic.
To help navigate the financial side of fertility treatment, the Citizens Advice Bureau offers practical guidance. Meanwhile, the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) – the UK’s independent regulator of fertility clinics – provides evidence-based fertility information, cost information and legal guidance on treatment options.
Exploring these resources can help you make informed decisions and feel more in control of both the financial and legal aspects of your fertility journey.
Support for if you’re childless not by choice
For many, the end of fertility treatment doesn’t lead to parenthood – and navigating life without children, especially when it wasn’t your choice, can feel incredibly isolating. Fortunately, a growing number of communities and resources offer emotional support, connection and practical tools for processing grief and building a fulfilling life without children.
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Founded by Jody Day, Gateway Women is one of the most established global support networks for women who are childless not by choice. It offers online courses and workshops, and a community forum. See the blog post by a member about childlessness in the workplace
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The Childless Collective community is a membership-based community that offers support for people who are involuntarily childless for £20 a month
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At Life Without Children | Fertility Network, you can watch webinars, join an online community and participate in MyJourney Contextual Cognitive Behavioural Therapy self-help online programme
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The Full Stop is a podcast and community space for people who are childless not by choice. It’s run by hosts who have walked the same path
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World Childless Week has links to lots of other resources and support
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Dr Robin Hadley is the UK’s leading academic in the area of male involuntary childlessness
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The Childless Men’s Community is a closed Facebook group created and moderated by Michael Hughes and Andy Harrod
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