MID-MICHIGAN (WNEM) – A recent murder in Bay City and a gruesome killing that made national headlines in 2019 are just two examples of how meeting someone online can turn from thrilling to terrifying.
Lloysa Gallery, a therapist with Future & Hope Counseling Services LLC, said dating apps become particularly dangerous because of a lack of vetting, so she’s sharing some best practices for people to navigate if using a dating app has ever crossed their mind.
“Make sure that you always pay attention to your first instinct,” Gallery said.
Sound advice for people who decide to use online dating apps. Experts are urging caution when using the apps as recent findings show a concerning number of violent sexual predators using them.
“Fortunately, and unfortunately, social media and dating apps have played such a big part nowadays. It’s hard to really know who you’re seeing,” Gallery said.
That uncertainty can lead to harrowing experiences, like the recent murder of Justie Stillwell or the 2019 murder of Kevin Bacon. Police say both victims met their murderers through dating apps.
“People are nervous. They’re looking to, you know, meet somebody. They don’t know how to put themselves out there all the time,” Gallery said.
Research at the National Institute of Justice from 2017 to 2020 shows 14% of first time meet ups from dating apps ended in some kind of violence, with those attacks being more violent and targeting victims with mental illnesses and other vulnerabilities. Men were also two times more likely to be the victims of those assaults.
“Sometimes people are hoping that dating apps will be safe. But the reality is that just with anything else, there’s going to be people who are going to be predators,” Gallery said.
She offered some seemingly common-sense advice to help ensure your safety.
“Definitely always letting somebody else know where you’re going to be and when you’re going to be there. That you made it safe, that you’re leaving. Being in a public place is definitely number one,” she said.
Besides those tips, Gallery also suggested confirming a person’s identity through pictures and possibly video calling the person to see them, but most importantly always keeping a friend or loved one in the loop of your plans.
Stilwell would have celebrated a birthday on Monday, Oct. 7. His accused killer remains in jail on $1 million bond.
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