Not everyone using dating apps will have a violent encounter, but the reality is that we have no idea how often people report violence by a person they met online.
PHOENIX — Looking for love? Every day Americans from all walks of life turn to dating apps to find that special someone, however, connecting with a stranger comes with risks.
The 12News I-Team has found that when lawmakers asked one of the largest companies behind some of the most popular apps to provide information about the safety of users, the lawmakers said the information they received was incomplete.
To be clear, there are risks to meeting people without dating apps, too. And not all people who use dating apps will have a violent encounter. But the reality is that we have no idea how often people report violence or abuse by a person they met online because no one is really tracking it – at least not publicly.
In February 2020, U.S. Representatives Jan Schakowsky of Illinois and then U.S. Representative Annie Kuster of New Hampshire sent a letter to Match Group, expressing concerns about safety on dating apps.
“The companies themselves have to take some responsibility,” Rep. Schakowsky said in a December 2024 interview with the 12News I-Team.
Match Group isn’t the only dating app company out there, but it is one of the biggest in the world. The company owns many popular apps like Tinder, OkCupid and Hinge.
The various apps have options to report violence or inappropriate behavior right in the app. In that 2020 letter, the lawmakers’ specifically asked: “Exactly how many sexual violence complaints have you received on Match.com, Tinder, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid?”
The 12News I-Team obtained a copy of Match Group’s June 2020 response letter, which indicated that Match Group worked with law enforcement on 200 assault cases in 2019. However, the company did not specify how many people submitted complaints to them or through their apps.
“They didn’t send us any real data,” Rep. Schakowsky said. “And that data has to be gathered. How many people actually are experiencing sexual assault or danger online?
Researchers in Australia are trying to find that answer. In 2022, Dr. Christopher Dowling and his team with the Australian Institute of Criminology found that nearly a third of people they surveyed reported violence at an in-person meeting after matching online.
“It did certainly take us by surprise,” Dr. Dowling told 12News. “I think delving down into those findings as well revealed some more disturbing results regarding the increased risk that women, but especially LGB+ plus women were at with this violence.
“Younger users and users with a disability have also been shown to be at increased risk of this violence,” Dowling added.
ProPublica published a similar stat in 2019, finding that 31% percent of women they surveyed “reported being sexually assaulted or raped by someone they had met through an online dating site…”
At the end of 2024, the I-Team conducted our own informal online survey. About a quarter of our 80 respondents reported a violent encounter with someone they met on a dating app.
“I think there certainly is a responsibility on the owners of these apps and platforms to ensure the safety of their users,” said Dr. Dowling. “I also think it’s in the interests of these apps and platforms that users feel safe while using them.”
The I-Team started looking into this while reporting on Helen Simmons, who alleged she was abused and forced into participating in a violent armed robbery by a guy she initially met on Tinder. Helen is now in prison for the crime.
When Helen said she first met Matthew Jones, records show he had just gotten out of prison for aggravated assault and imprisonment involving another woman he met online.
Jones wasn’t charged based on Helen’s allegations, but he was charged and convicted in the robbery case and is also serving prison time.
In response to this report, a rep for Tinder said they had no record of Simmons or Jones meeting on the app.
Issues with background checks
Tinder’s terms of use state that felons are prohibited from creating accounts, but that the company doesn’t do any criminal background checks and that Tinder is not responsible for the conduct of any member on or off the service. An analysis by the 12News I-Team found similar language in the terms for many popular dating apps.
“It’s definitely easy for bad actors to access dating apps,” said Kathryn Kosmides.
Kosmides started her online safety company, Garbo, after her own experience encountering violence from someone she met on a dating app.
“We definitely have seen individuals using dating apps as a way to find victims in a much easier fashion,” she added.
Concerns over background checks were also part of lawmakers’ letter to Match Group.
In its June 2020 response letter to lawmakers, Match Group stated that when a user reports assault, it works to block the account and remove the user from all Match Group platforms.
The letter states Match Group will run sex offender checks only for those who sign up with a credit card, not those using free accounts.
Match Group said they ran into hurdles when users would have to pay for app purchases through a third party that could limit the information needed for a registry check.
Match Group also highlighted difficulties with public records, like outdated photos and incomplete data. The company encouraged federal regulators to better monitor and update the sex offender registries.
“We have to get to serious background checks,” said Rep. Jan. Schakowsky. “That’s it.”
In 2021, Garbo partnered with Tinder to provide a background check service for users. But by 2023, Kosmides and her team decided to shut Garbo’s background check service down, not just because of challenges with public records.
“I would say very quickly after launching the technology with these partners, we realize that they care, I think, more about the press headlines and getting the government off their back when it comes to trust and safety than actually caring about consumer safety and investing in it,” Kosmides told the I-Team.
A spokesperson for Match Group told us over email that they “were disappointed” with Garbo’s “decision to cease operations” and in 2024, partnered with a new company, BrightCheck to help with background checks. Garbo continues to operate as an online safety company.
The I-Team asked Match Group for an interview, but the spokesperson did not respond to that question and answered a series of other questions over email.
Match Group’s most recent impact report states the company invested $125 million into safety in 2023.
The Match Group spokesperson detailed continued work to develop safety features on their apps, including technology like AI to detect harmful messaging, imagery and bad actors. The spokesperson said that each platform has trained support teams who swiftly review and respond to concerning reports.
The company did not provide us with any data either on how often people are reporting abuse on the apps, but the spokesperson said they “recognize that making data available is an important step to raise the awareness of sexual assault and concerning behaviors.”
“The sparsity of information is a hallmark of danger that consumers are facing right now,” said Rep. Schakowsky. “So, thank you for looking into this. We’re going to continue.”
In 2023, Representative Schakowsky and her colleagues sent another letter to Match Group saying they “remain concerned about potential harms these platforms enable, including sexual violence…”
This session, she plans to introduce another version of the Online Consumer Protection Act, which in part, could mean consequences for social media platforms or online marketplaces if safeguards aren’t working.
She’s introduced previous versions in the past that haven’t moved forward. She hopes this year will be different.
“I think it should be a bipartisan issue,” she said.
Without clear information about how many assaults are connected to apps, many are turning to self-defense to protect themselves while they navigate the dating scene.
Keith Larkin and Michele Harrison are both lead instructors of Krav Maga at East Valley Krav Maga Self Defense in Tempe.
They say they’ve both heard stories of people coming in after encountering violence through a dating app match.
“You’re just seeing a lot more chance being taken with meeting people online,” Harrison said. “It’s kind of Russian Roulette in a way.”
In class, students are training for all kinds of scenarios, including chokeholds or other assaults that could be connected to romantic partners.
“Try to simulate as real-world as possible,” said lead instructor Keith Larkin.
“You don’t get to pick the time and place if you’re ever going to be attacked,” he added. “But what happens afterwards is going to be up to you and we want you to be ready for anything that could potentially happen.”
Training for the body and the mind.
“It’s about trusting your gut,” said lead instructor Michele Harrison. “It’s about knowing what your boundaries are. I think it’s really, really important, especially as a woman, to give yourself permission to leave if you are uncomfortable. To not have to go through with the date. To not have to meet up with this person”
Taking safety into their own hands, even if no one else can guarantee it.
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